In the Middle of My Restlessness-He is Found

It's just another night, my toes slip out, stung by cold night air.  Pulling back warm flannel sheets and heater warm down comforter, I quietly twist and inch myself, feeling my way in the middle of the night.  I work hard to keep from waking snoozing, snoring husband.  With my head now in the place where my feet once pushed against the taut sheets, I wait for sleep to again visit. 

Nights of sleep are interrupted with dreams disturbing.  Thoughts.  Excitement.  Racing mind.  Worries.  Planning.  Anticipation. 

I've had weeks of this sleep. 

Hubs wakes to find my pillow at his feet and his toes cooled by the space where I've unmade the bed to cozy myself at the foot of our mattress.  He used to make a concerned comment.  That doesn't happen now.

Now it is routine; my turning and twisting.

I found myself fixated on the red lights that shine the time that shows I only have a few hours before my morning alarm sounds to wake me for the day.  My mind wanders and refuses to slow and shut to allow sleep to settle.

"Find rest, O my soul,

 in God alone;

my hope comes from him."

Psalm 62:5

My comfort in the wee hours of the morning are found in a God that quiets the storms that rage and eases worried minds.

Thankful is this accidental night owl for the presence of God.

"Arise, cry out in the night,

 as the watches of the night begin;

pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.

Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..."

-Lamentations 2:19

So, I lie down and talk to Him in the black of night.  And He eases me into the stillness that is found from knowing Him.  And I thank Him for His closeness in the dark.  In the hard.  The unknown.

Comfort in the night is brought through armor.  His word provides protection, reassurance, quiet, joy, power, and peace. 

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;

 she can laugh at the days to come."

Proverbs 31:25

It's in these times that I may lose focus momentarily and have a more difficult time seeing Him work.  But rejoicing comes in the morning.  And I see in the new day's light the beauty and stillness that He has weaved into the middle of my restlessness. 

Amy Grant